The purpose of this brief article is to laugh.  Laugh about how we as business analysts approach our work.  Whether you are a proponent of agile, waterfall, or some hybrid solution development life cycle (SDLC), I hope this article makes you laugh.  Remember laughter is the best medicine.

Agile:  If____, you may be on an agile project

• If someone on your team actually offers you assistance, you may be on an agile project
• If you've developed requirements and software at the same time, you may be on an agile project
• If "waterfall" means taking a shower, you may be on an agile project
• If you've had conversations with stakeholders who don't know what they want, you may be on an agile project
• If fun means not having to refactor code, you may be on an agile project
• If you measure progress in story points, you may be on an agile project
• If you share office space with team members, you may be on an agile project
• If you play poker just to estimate work, you may be on an agile project
• If you correct your team mates code at the same time he writes it, you may be on an agile project
• If the work pace of your team never changes and you only work on one thing at a time, you may be on an agile project
• If you have not worked overtime in the last year, you may be on an agile project
• If you actually implemented something in 30 days, you may be on an agile project
• If you stand during meetings, you may be on an agile project
• If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your friends, you definitely are on an agile project

Waterfall:  If_________, you may be on a waterfall project

• If your project sponsor dies prior to delivering the product, you may be on a waterfall project
• If you are thinking of forging your sponsor's signature on the 27^th version of the business requirements document, you may be on a waterfall project
• If you have worked on one project for the last ten years, you may be on a waterfall project
• If you have a private office, you may be on a waterfall project
• If you have a well written business requirements document that no one wants to read, you may be on a waterfall project
• If testing is a phase in the way distant future, you may be on a waterfall project
• If you have not met with your customer in the last week, you may be on a waterfall project
• If 24 hours has passed and no one has asked you for a work status, you may be on a waterfall project
• If you think a project will go according to your work plan, you may be on a waterfall project
• If you have been working with the same people for the last twenty years, you may be on a waterfall project
• If you think work attrition is caused by retirement, you may be on a waterfall project
• If you have created documentation or know where it is, you may be on a waterfall project

• If you hear the word agile and it reminds you that you are getting on in years, you may be on a waterfall project
• If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your friends, you definitely are on a waterfall project

Final Comment

The style of the previous statements of course is borrowed from Jeff Foxworthy, the popular comedian and TV quiz show host.  I'm a big fan of his work and I just couldn't resist writing this article.  As you read the agile and waterfall statements, I am sure you came up your own.  I invite you to submit them as comments for everyone's enjoyment.  Let's all laugh a little at ourselves. Or maybe cry!

Don't forget to leave your comments below

Mark.A Monteleone holds a B.S. in physics and an M.S. in computing science from Texas A&M University.  He is certified as a Project Management Professional (PMP®) by the Project Management Institute (PMI®), a Certified Business Analysis Professional (CBAP®) by the International Institute of Business Analysis (IIBA®), a Certified ScrumMaster (CSM^TM) and Certified Scrum Product Owner (CSPO^TM) by the Scrum Alliance.  He holds an Advanced Master's Certificate in Project Management and a Business Analyst Certification (CBA®) from George Washington University School of Business.  Mark is also a member of the Association for the Advancement of Cost Engineering (AACE) and the International Association of Facilitators (IAF).  Mark is the President of Monteleone Consulting, LLC and can be contacted via e-mail - mark.a.monteleone@sbcglobal.net.

Comments (6)