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Tuesday, 15 March 2011 11:14

Does Your Language Make People Nervous?

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Last week my wife and I attended my cousin's wedding in the Dominican Republic.  It was at a beach resort filled with tourists from around the world.  The ceremony was right on the beach...beautiful!  After the sun went down many of us stayed on the beach to celebrate with the bride and groom.  At some point the biggest man I ever saw in my life decided to join the party.  He was not with our group and stumbled upon us as he was walking the beach.  He appeared to be in a good mood and was speaking loudly in a language I did not understand.  He came up to me and in a fun way slapped me on the back.  The pain was so intense; I thought he separated my shoulder.  As his backslapping and booming voice continued, I started getting very nervous. I was not sure what was going to happen.  Could the biggest man in the world turn on us?  At one point I started to think about what I would do if he got mad and came after us.  I decided I would go for the ankles.  Trying to hit him would leave me with a broken hand.  He eventually moved on without incident and the celebration continued. 

Later I did some self analysis to try and determine what made me so nervous.  It all had to do with me not understanding what he was saying, and he could not understand us.  In addition, the fact that he was the biggest man alive, there was the risk of him doing physical damage. 

So, does your language make your business stakeholders or your team nervous?  In our profession we have to communicate with many people speaking different "languages". Like the guy on the beach your intention is most likely not to make the people you work with nervous. But, if you are not speaking their language there is a good chance you do make them nervous.  If you speak to technical to your business stakeholders or not technical enough to your development team, you may be making them nervous.  If you communicate in too much detail to your management or not enough detail to your quality assurance team, you may be making them nervous.  These are obviously stereotypes as you know some managers want all the detail.  The fact is if you are making the person you are communicating with uncomfortable, they are not hearing you.  They are thinking about ways to protect themselves. 

You have to determine and be aware of what language the people you are communicating with speak.  To progress in your career you have to become multi-lingual. 

Cheers (Salud, A La Votre, Na zdorovie, L'chaim, Kan-pie...),

Kupe

Don't forget to leave your comments below.

Read 3041 times Last modified on Tuesday, 27 March 2012 13:46
Published in Kupe Kupersmith
Kupe Kupersmith

Kupe Kupersmith, President, B2T Training, possesses over 14 years of experience in the business analysis profession. He has served as the lead Business Analyst and Project Manager on projects in the utility, television and sports management and marketing industries. Kupe is a Certified Business Analysis Professional (CBAP) through the IIBA. Kupe is a trained improvisational actor and performed for years in clubs around Atlanta.  He is a big believer that we can work and learn while having fun. Kupe is a connector and has a goal in life to meet everyone!

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Comments  

 
0 # Jim Lanigan 2011-03-15 06:27
You have to love Kupe's writing style. He grabs your attention, and you can't let go until you are done the article.
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0 # Yaaqub Mohamed 2011-03-15 08:13
Good one kupe! :) language is an essential element of getting your point across. I have seen in many instances where a few stakeholders get glassy or even panic at certain technical jargon; it is always better to be cognizant of the stakeholder vocabulary!
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0 # Banumathy 2011-03-15 19:06
Very goo eye opener for people like me. I had wondered many a times why the development team with whom i was interacting feel uneasy whenever I have a meeting or discussion with them or even why the management / Quality needs this kind of an information. Now I am comlpletely aware of what to speak to which stakeolder of the project. The comparison from a day to day real life event was more appropriately used by Kupe. Thanks Kupe.
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0 # jmhoss 2011-03-16 00:07
Kupe is right. The # 1 rule of communications: KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE! Language in any communication whether, verbal or written, should be tailored to the intended audience. So get technical with your developers, but speak in common terms to your business partners/client s, and management. Don't try to impress with buzz words or academic vocabulary. KEEP IT SIMPLE, CLEAR & CONCISE.
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0 # Kupe 2011-03-16 00:16
@Jim - Thank you so much for the kind words. @jmhoss - Great point about buzz words. They sound cool, but may not help you reach the intended goal. @Yaaqub - The glassy eyed look is just as bad as getting nervous. You have to keep them engaged! @Banu mathy - Let us know how those future conversations go.
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0 # Kim Hoang Vo 2011-03-16 00:49
Thanks Kupe for sharing your experience and thinking with us. It is much appreciated. Y es - you brought in a very important point to us - the art of Communication. We learn it, we recognise the important of understanding our audience and we try to apply it in day-to-day activity whether at work or at home, whether we talk to an aldult or a teenager or a child... I find a good trick to share with you in this subject - "to be a well listener in order to be listened." Che ers.
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0 # Cathy Brunsting 2011-03-16 02:00
Glad to hear you survived the wedding Kupe! :-) Good point on language. I know that is one of the things I constantly have to self-monitor myself on. I come from a technical background, so I generally understand developer-speak , but need to make sure I don't carry that into the business user discussions. Along with what I say, I need to watch that I don't try to over-analyze and push the business users into a solution - it needs to be their decision, not mine. I have also seen BAs become intimidated by tech-speak. I was mentoring a BA team and we were attending a design walk through. The glassy-eyed look mentioned above was the look on the BAs faces. And, they were letting the technical team create a solution that wasn't really meeting the business need because they were afraid to speak up - they felt that the tech team"knew better" and that it wasn't their place to question the tech approach. So, what we did was to develop better communication for these meetings. The BAs learned to ask questions of the techies, to make sure that they understood the ramifications of the techncal approach and to ensure that the approach was really meeting the business need. The tech team learned that in a design review they needed to explain their solution in ways that were understood by all of their audience.
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0 # Jarett Hailes 2011-03-18 11:34
Good article Kupe, I think this is especially important with the language represents 93% of human communication - body language. As I work with various clients who have differing levels of sensitivity to aggressive behaviour I've noticed that you really need to watch how your body language is being received and deciphered by your audience. Simple things like hands on a desk leaning forward can be perceived as intimidation, while in other places leaning too far back can seen as complacency or weakness. Learning how others react to your body language is essential to ensuring that as a Business Analyst you are viewed as a helpful facilitator, active problem solver and go-to resource.
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0 # Gopal Sumukha 2011-03-22 21:36
Great article with a good coverage Kupe. . that's one of the reason, i always will follow you, to note such an expert's opinion / hints for my professional career path, Kudos to you..!! I would go a step further in maintaining a neutral language when i address developers and business users @ the first go, on the need basis, i'd explain further in the respective understandable languages offline If the situation demands, i try conveying the message through drawings/ pictures without hampering the original needs ( as stated by customers) ( if i have sufficient time..! ) This is my style, may or may not suit all ... Thanks for a good hint again Gopal Sumukha
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0 # Kupe 2011-03-23 01:46
Thanks for the kind words Gopal. I like you approach on taking a neutral tone. This is also great if you are not quite sure what the others person "language" is yet.
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