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Author: Neal Whitten,PMP

Do You Have the Backbone to Negotiate Effectively?

Written by Neal Whitten,PMP on . Posted in Articles.

Negotiating is a fundamental skill that you use virtually every day—far more than many people realize.

It plays a critical role both in the success of your career and your life outside of work. Every day you negotiate with your co-workers, with businesses, friends and family. For many, negotiating can seem confrontational, intimidating, and frankly a daunting task. My experience is that most people do not demonstrate the backbone to negotiate effectively—even though they would if they just knew what to do.

I’m going to show you what to do… by revealing 10 top practices of the most effective negotiators. Do you have the backbone to apply these practices? They are not in any priority order and are all important.

1. Be willing to walk away

When you begin the negotiation you should know the boundaries of an acceptable deal. If you are not sure of those limits then you are at risk of losing sight of the bigger picture of an acceptable outcome for you—what’s truly in your best interests. If it is clear that those limits will be breached, then be willing to walk away. When your counterpart realizes that you are determined to get a better deal, absent of which you have no hesitation to end the negotiation, the likelihood is high that your counterpart will work more creatively to satisfy at least your minimal acceptable requirements.

2. Make an aggressive first offer

According to authors Adam Grant and Adam Galinsky, in the book, Give and Take, research supports the strategy that people who make the first offer typically get a better deal closer to their target price. The first offer sets what’s called the “anchor price.” All succeeding offers use the anchor price as the point from which to negotiate.

Research also shows that the anchor price is often not aggressive enough. People are afraid to be too bold in the eyes of their counterpart and resist stronger first offers. Make your first position bold and aggressive. It’s possible you might even get it. Your counterpart can always counter offer and likely will negotiate the offer down. However, do your best to not set a ridiculous price. Doing so will cause the other party to doubt your seriousness. You want to be reasonable.

3. Use silence

Silence is a great negotiating tactic—a powerful weapon. Whether you are making an offer or receiving one, afterwards employ a pause—such as slowly counting to 10 but perhaps a much longer pause—to use silence to your advantage. This tactic not only can get the other party thinking more about your position but, for most people, silence during a negotiation feels awkward and they feel nervously compelled to say something. Before you know it, you likely have learned information that you otherwise would not have had—information helpful in your favor.

By the way, if the offer to you looks acceptable, there is still value in pausing before you accept it. Pausing helps your counterpart feel like they have squeezed out a good deal compared to you immediately accepting the offer.

4. Ask for more than what you want

Many people are embarrassed to ask for more than what they want. If you don’t ask, you will never get it. What could have been possible is only a thought rather than a reality. If you do ask, there is the possibility that you will get it. Top negotiators have no problem asking for the sky as long as the sky falls in the category of a possible and realistic outcome. They recognize that a huge mistake would be not asking. By not asking, you are passing up opportunities that will have affected your overall success.

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5. Show disappointment

When your counterpart makes an offer that you view not to be favorable, show your disappointment with a flinch or other small display of dissatisfaction. The objective is not only to present a reaction but to make your counterpart feel uncomfortable with their offer. This theatric can cause your counterpart to immediately make larger concessions in order to gain your visible approval.

On the flip side, if you like what you are hearing, you can reveal a small smile or configure your face to represent that you feel the negotiation is moving in an acceptable direction. Your counterpart will want to work hard to win your future show of approval.

6. Never feel rushed

Make time your friend. Patience is a virtue in the world of negotiating. You need time to convince others. If you have patience then exploit it. If you don’t, then acquire it. More often than not, your counterpart will reach a point when they are tiring and just want the negotiation to come to a speedy end. This is a point where your counterpart is willing to make concessions that otherwise appeared to be off the table. Your ability to outlast your counterpart can be a formidable advantage to reaching a more favorable outcome.

7. Invest in preparation

It has been said by many prominent negotiators that the most important element of a negotiation is preparation, preparation, preparation. When preparing for important negotiations, here are areas with which to focus: Brainstorm creative solutions that can satisfy both parties; Know what it is you want, what you are willing to concede and not willing to concede; Review past lessons learned from similar negotiations; Understand your counterpart and the issues that they are faced with; Consider engaging a negotiation coach; and Practice your performance, at the least, in your head but consider role playing with a trusted friend or colleague

Do not underestimate your counterpart—assume they have thoroughly prepared themselves for the negotiation.

8. Listen, ask questions and learn

Bobby Covic, author of Everything’s Negotiable!, said, “There’s a saying among negotiators that whoever talks the most during a negotiation loses.” Most people want to keep talking but good negotiators are more interested in asking questions and learning what their counterpart has to say. When you listen, your counterpart views you to be more sincere and approachable. Listening is an important step to building trust and respect.

Furthermore, negotiating should not be seen as a major conflict between two or more parties but instead as a process of discovery. You ask questions and listen. You probe and listen. You are gathering data that you can use to improve your position while learning about the other party’s strengths and weaknesses, their wants and needs. You listen to understand, not to focus on your next reply.

9. Keep your cool and maintain a positive mindset

The mindset that you initially bring to the negotiating table will be contagious to your counterpart. If you ask nicely and come across fair, most people will work harder at reaching a reasonable compromise. Negotiating is all about working with people. You want to establish a rapport, a bond of sorts. Begin the negotiation with a great attitude, confidence, enthusiasm and optimism. Turn potential opponents into allies.

Do not take things personally or make them personal while negotiating. Doing so can undermine trust, respect and interfere with maintaining a clear head. Resist yelling or verbally attacking your counterpart. Never knowingly say anything that is hurtful to your counterpart. You want to keep a pleasant and relaxed demeanor.

Remaining cool is not just about resisting a display of negative emotions about your counterpart, it’s also about not tipping your hand about your excitement regarding the item at the focus of the negotiation. Do not let your emotions betray your thoughts—maintain your best poker face. If your counterpart sees that you want the item being negotiated badly, then there can be little incentive for your counterpart to negotiate. Limit revealing your enthusiasm for the item; instead, unfavorably compare the item to other products or deals in an attempt to lower its value.

10. Go for a win-win

A win-win outcome is when both parties feel like they negotiated an acceptable deal, when their points of view have been satisfactorily considered and their respect for each other is likely on a high note. If these parties will ever negotiate again, both are likely to enter the negotiations with positive attitudes and a willingness to work well with each other. When you help your counterpart get what they want, you more likely will get what you want. You want to be fair and reasonable with your counterpart. For example, don’t expect them to give up something that does not give them an acceptable profit or allow them to save face.

– – – – –

When you become a better negotiator and see that nearly everything in life is negotiable, it opens your possibilities for a more fulfilling life.

28 Time Management Tips to Getting More Done Every Day

Written by Neal Whitten,PMP on . Posted in Articles. 2 Comments on 28 Time Management Tips to Getting More Done Every Day

These ideas can help you improve your time management effectiveness.

We all are looking for that time management formula that allows us to complete work in less time, get more done each day, waste less time, find more free time, take control of your day, improve your reputation and lower your stress. Here are 28 time management actions to help put you in the proper mindset to make the best use of your time.

  1. Maintain a Master To-Do List. List all the tasks that you need or want to accomplish at some point. Assign a due-date and prioritization (1-4) to each entry in the Master To-Do List.
  2. Use a technique for assigning priorities to tasks. Although there are many techniques out there, I have chosen the Time Management Matrix by Stephen Covey that was famously published in his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.
    The Time Management Matrix is represented as a box with four quadrants and distinguishes between importance and urgency. By importance is meant tasks that contribute to the achievement of your goals. Urgent means tasks that require immediate attention.
      URGENT NOT URGENT
    IMPORTANT Quadrant 1:
    Urgent & Important    		 Quadrant 2:
    Not Urgent & Important
    NOT IMPORTANT Quadrant 3:
    Urgent & Not Important    		 Quadrant 4:
    Not Urgent & Not Important

    Notice the four-quadrant matrix box consists of two rows and two columns that will be used to assign the value of a task. The two quadrants in the first row are associated with tasks that are considered “important,” also referred to as high-valued tasks. The two quadrants in the second row are associated with tasks that are considered “not important,” also referred to as low-valued tasks.
    The two quadrants in the first column are associated with tasks that are considered “urgent.” The two quadrants in the second column are considered “not urgent.”
    Said another way:

    • Quadrant 1 represents priority 1 tasks that are urgent and important. These are tasks that need immediate attention such as important deadlines with high urgency. Examples are emergency issues, demands from superiors or customers, planned tasks now due, meetings, appointments and fire-fighting.
    • Quadrant 2 represents priority 2 tasks that are not urgent but important. These are tasks that are important but do not require immediate attention such as long-term development and strategizing. These are tasks that you plan to do such as planning, designing, testing, training and relationship building.
    • Quadrant 3 represents priority 3 tasks that are urgent but not important such as distractions with high urgency. Covey recommends minimizing or eliminating these tasks as they do not contribute to your high-value achievement. These tasks might be candidates for delegating. Examples are trivial requests from others, apparent emergencies, ad-hoc interruptions and distractions, pointless activities and meetings, and a boss’ whims. Tasks in this quadrant can also be driven by one’s ego.
    • Quadrant 4 represents priority 4 tasks that are not urgent and not important. These time-waster tasks yield very little or no value and should be eliminated such as computer games, net surfing, gossip, social communications, daydreaming, doodling, excessively long breaks, reading irrelevant material and over embellishment.
  3. Create a Daily To-Do List either at the start of the day or the evening before. If there are any priority 1 tasks, they should appear on the Daily To-Do List. If there is time available for priority 2 tasks then selected priority 2 tasks should be included in the Daily To-Do List.
  4. Identify your top three priority tasks that should be worked each day. These tasks could be designated priority 1 or 2 tasks from your Master To-Do List. Visibly display the three priority tasks to encourage you to focus on them.
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  5. Spend most of your time—starting early in the day—working on priority 1 and 2 tasks; these are high-valued tasks and are most critical in defining your contributions and value to the organization as well as your overall career.
  6. Resist allowing low-value (priority 3 and 4) tasks to consume a significant amount of your time. Minimize, eliminate or delegate priority 3 tasks. Eliminate priority 4 tasks; however, these tasks may be engaged for pleasure during moments of relaxation.
  7. Reserve blocks of time on your daily calendar for accomplishing non-meeting work such as time you need to prepare for meetings you will attend today, placing and returning phone calls, servicing your emails and time required to work other tasks that you have listed in today’s to-do list. The reserved time can also include some contingency for working unplanned but important or urgent items that can arise throughout the day.
  8. Expect interruptions but be prepared to professionally manage them.
  9. Find a get-away place. If you are unable or unwilling to stop interruptions when you are trying to focus on working off tasks, find a place to get away for blocks of time of at least 30-60 minutes. This is when your productivity can be at its best.
  10. Before you start a new task, ask yourself if this is the best use of your time. Remember, you have a limited amount of time but a near infinite number of tasks vying for your attention.
  11. Manage phone calls. Schedule times to return phone calls. When on a call, keep to the topic at hand and avoid tangents. Consider silencing your phone during periods where your concentration is especially important.
  12. Reduce multi-tasking—it typically results in a loss of productivity. Do your best to finish a task before starting another task, or to remain on the same task for as long as you can before switching to another task.
  13. Seize control of your day where you spend your time and for how long. Resist allowing others to control portions of your day.
  14. Avoid or limit use of social media tools such as Facebook® and Twitter® unless you use these tools to function real-time.
  15. Invest a few minutes reviewing how you spent your time each day and identify the time wasters; do this at the end of each day or first thing the next day. Then think about how each of these moments could have been better handled. Apply those lessons in planning and managing the next day.
  16. Learn to accept “good enough.” When you are performing a task, there is a point where the task is sufficiently complete to fulfill its need whereby to continue to work the task to perfection fails to produce an adequate return on your additional time and energy investment.
  17. Reduce the number of meetings you attend. Consider only attending meetings that will reveal information you need or that you have information someone else needs. In the latter case, consider giving that information to the meeting leader or coworker who is attending and do not attend yourself.
  18. Create, distribute and enforce rules for your meetings so they run effectively.
  19. Limit checking email to 3-5 times a day. For example, you could decide to check email early in the day, just after lunch and at the end of the day. If your day allows, you could optionally check email midmorning and midafternoon. Email is one of the biggest time-management detractors.
  20. Turn off the alert that notifies you when an email arrives. If you are not tempted, you will be less likely to peek.
  21. Keep emails as short as possible whether sending or replying.
  22. Break larger tasks into smaller tasks. The smaller tasks will be far easier to schedule and you will gain a sense of accomplishment as the tasks are individually completed.
  23. Learn to say “no.” But do this responsibly and earn a reputation for playing fair.
  24. Don’t procrastinate working high-value tasks. Procrastination can cause huge missed opportunities throughout your career as well as your life.
  25. Reserve some “me time” each day. Use this quiet time to relax, be mindful and reenergize. Even periods as short as 5 minutes can go a long way to help you collect your thoughts and reinvigorate you.
  26. Know how and where you spend your time so you can make better time management choices. Keep a log of where you spend your time for a full week. Track your activities in increments of 30-minute intervals. At the end of the week, look for the lessons.
  27. Power nap. If beneficial, find 10-15 minutes to take a power nap around mid-day to early afternoon. The energy boost will help your afternoon be more productive and enjoyable.
  28. Solicit a time management mentor. Find someone you believe is good at time management and is willing to coach you in this area.

Time management is not about being busy; it’s about being effective. Knowing how to prioritize and complete the work that matters the most on a daily basis can be the difference between a sterling career and just barely staying afloat. Good time management does not require extreme effort but it does require deliberate discipline. Effective time management can significantly and positively affect the rest of your life.

Short Quiz on Team Member Behavior – What Would You Do?

Written by Neal Whitten,PMP on . Posted in Articles. 1 Comment on Short Quiz on Team Member Behavior – What Would You Do?

Team members are often in the dark on the behavior expected of them while working with others.

Here are 9 important but common situations that team members are likely to encounter throughout their project.

Choose the answer that best represents the behavior you expect from your team members or coworkers.

The answers are provided at the end of the quiz.

Quiz

1. What should a team member do if she believes that she cannot meet an already committed date?

  1. Work it out with the team leader and propose potential solutions
  2. Get help from her manager
  3. Work it out with the person with whom she has made the commitment
  4. Say nothing until she is 100% sure that the committed date will be missed
  5. Say nothing and do the best she can

2. Team member A repeatedly says that he is on schedule to deliver a critical-path item to member B who has a dependency on that item. But the item is delivered three days late. This puts the critical-path schedule three days behind. What should member B do?

  1. Maintain his original duration commitment which means that the schedule will remain three days late
  2. Notify his manager
  3. Escalate to member A’s manager
  4. Reasonably work with anyone and everyone to bring the team back on schedule
  5. Bad mouth member A at every opportunity

3. What should a team member do if he has bad news to share?

  1. Share it as soon as possible
  2. Share it discretely, as appropriate
  3. Share it in as few words as possible
  4. Delay as long as you can to buy time in case things improve
  5. a, b and c

4. A team member periodically does something helpful and noteworthy for the team leader, another team member or for the team itself. In terms of recognition, what should the team member do?

  1. Share the good deed with the team at the next available opportunity
  2. Inform his manager
  3. Remain humble and say and do nothing
  4. Request the benefitting party to inform his manager
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5. When it comes to commitments and accountability, who within the team should be treated differently—a bit more special—than any other person or group? Who should be cut a bit more slack when problems arise?

  1. Client
  2. Contractor
  3. Vendor
  4. Company employees
  5. No one should be treated a bit more special

6. When a team member has made a noteworthy mistake, what should she do?

  1. Admit she made a mistake
  2. State what she plans to do to correct the mistake
  3. State what she will do to prevent the mistake from occurring again
  4. Do not allow the mistake to haunt her
  5. All of the above

7. What should a team member do to maintain a positive attitude when he works around some really negative people?

  1. Leave the organization
  2. Decide to maintain a positive attitude
  3. Confront the negative behavior at every opportunity
  4. Occasionally confront the negative behavior when the timing and conditions feel appropriate
  5. b and d

8. A team member should ask questions rather than assume. But doing so can cause that person to sense that others perceive them as stupid. What should the team member do?

  1. Let others ask the questions
  2. Make the best assumptions you can
  3. Test the waters with one question before asking more questions
  4. Ask the questions
  5. Obtain the person’s permission to ask questions

9. What can a team member do to discourage her meeting invitees from arriving late and leaving early?

  1. Yell at them
  2. Lock the meeting-room door
  3. Adopt the 10-minute rule
  4. Fine them $1 per minute they are late or leave early (money collected to be used on team snacks)
  5. All the above

Answers

I have promoted answers that my experience suggests represent the behaviors of the best teams—high performance teams. It’s possible, that for some scenarios, you don’t agree with my answer or you may not favor any of the options from which you can select. If your answer is different than my recommendation, it doesn’t necessarily mean that either of us is wrong. We may come from different company and country cultures that may influence our answer. We also may have had different experiences. But bear in mind that, if you and I don’t agree on the best answer, all the more reason that that scenario should be discussed within your team to ensure that everyone has a common understanding of what is expected of them.

  1. The answer is c. Work with the dependent party to resolve the issue without causing harm to other members of the team. If problems result, immediately include the team leader in the discussion and propose potential solutions to remedy, or at least minimize, the harm that may occur. The team member may also need to inform her manager and, if needed, secure the appropriate support from her manager.
  2. The answer is d. Member B is responsible for doing what is reasonable to work at restoring the critical-path schedule to its original commitment. Member B should be creative and open to ideas and obtain help if it is necessary and available. The first priority is not placing blame, but to resolve the problem so that the overall team does not suffer. To that end, the team leader should typically be informed of the situation and may be instrumental in working with all affected parties to repair the situation. If appropriate, member A, who originally caused the delivery to be late, can be included in the resolution.
  3. The answer is e. We all find ourselves having to deliver bad news from time to time. It’s never fun but it’s part of the job. Always deliver bad news as soon as reasonably possible, with the appropriate level of discretion and using as few words as possible. “As soon as reasonably possible” means that, in most cases, you attempt to resolve the problem before involving others—especially higher-ups. If you believe that the bad news must be shared, do so quickly. The sooner the problem is addressed, the less harm may be incurred. Make sure you do not blindside anyone when relaying bad news. No one wants to be surprised by hearing about a problem from a third party or at an inopportune time. As for using few words, if the person you are updating needs more information, she will ask.
  4. The answer is b. The team member should inform his manager about his noteworthy deed. It’s not only okay to toot your horn to your manager, it’s essential. If you don’t then your manager can never acknowledge and praise you for your admirable behavior, nor will you experience any appropriate benefit in your next performance review. However, do not run each time to notify your manager. Instead, use weekly or monthly status reports to your manager to include these types of items. Truly noteworthy and unique events can be communicated right away. Note, however, do not toot your horn to your coworkers—doing so can show you in a less than favorable light.
  5. The answer is e. All individuals and groups are needed to ensure that the team’s mission is completed successfully. If any of these stakeholders are having difficulty meeting their commitments, they must be appropriately worked with to ensure the issue is satisfactorily resolved. History shows that once one group or person is treated differently or so-called “special,” it’s typically that group that becomes the Achilles’ heel of the team.
  6. The answer is e. When you make a mistake—and we all do—it is recommended to admit that you made the mistake. Doing so can take the wind away from some people’s proverbial sails and allow people to focus on solving rather than the blame game. Now state what you plan to do to correct the mistake—this is called being accountable. Next state what you plan to do so the same problem does not reoccur—this is called being a professional. Lastly, do not carry guilt with you about the mistake. Learn from the experience and move on.
  7. The answer is e. Don’t allow others to define you. You choose your own attitude; nobody chooses it for you. A positive attitude can be contagious but so can a negative one. People will look forward to being around and working with you if you have a positive attitude. If others’ negative behavior is undermining your ability to achieve your commitments, then you must take action. However, if the person with the negative attitude has no influence within your domain of responsibility, then you can choose to do nothing. If you are around the person frequently, you may choose to encourage a change in her attitude or at least try to better understand what is behind it.
  8. The answer is d. Ask the questions. Better to have the misperception of looking stupid than proving stupid because you failed to ask the necessary questions. Do what you believe is the right thing to do. When you ask questions and listen to what people have to say, you learn things that you otherwise would not know. What other people think about you should never be more important than what you think about yourself.
  9. The answer is c. Schedule all meetings to begin at 10 minutes after the hour so that attendees can arrive on time from their last meeting. Allowing at least 10 minutes between meetings gives attendees time to travel, make calls or check email, and relax for a moment. Additionally, end all meetings 10 minutes before the hour, or earlier, so that attendees have time to get to their next meeting on time that will likely start on the hour.

This quiz and its answers, when openly discussed among the team leader and team members, provide a venue to ensuring that these expectations are clearly articulated across the team.

7 Crucial Behaviors to Master When Dealing with Your Leaders

Written by Neal Whitten,PMP on . Posted in Articles. 1 Comment on 7 Crucial Behaviors to Master When Dealing with Your Leaders

Your leaders want you to know—need you to know—the behaviors they consistently expect from you.

Just because you have a leadership role doesn’t mean you are living up to the expectations of your leaders.

The more you understand what is expected of you, the more you will likely focus on honing those skills, improving your performance and, in the process, helping your leaders look good which helps you look good. Talk about a win-win! So, if you have an interest in enhancing your image, effectiveness and career—and who doesn’t—let’s get to the first important behavior.

1. Don’t Dump and Run

When you have an idea for an improvement, don’t transfer that idea to your leader and then wash your hands of it. Be willing to be its champion and become part of the solution. Your leaders have neither the duty nor the bandwidth to personally take on and work every good idea to closure.

Your leaders want and need your ideas but they also expect for your hands to get dirty from time to time. Words don’t make companies successful; actions do.

2. Make It Brief

When you’re speaking with your peers you can speak in paragraphs. When you’re speaking with your immediate boss, reduce the paragraphs to long sentences. But the higher up the food chain you communicate, learn to shorten the sentences—even approaching sound bites. Your leaders don’t have the time for the unabridged version. If they need to know more, they will ask you. They respect you more when you can net your messages so they can obtain the necessary information in the minimal amount of time.

3. Don’t Complain

People who habitually complain are a bore and a waste of time and energy to those around them. If you’re complaining, you’re not solving; you’re part of the problem. For example, if you complain to Person A about something that Person B can fix, then you just wasted your time and that of Person A’s. But if you “complain” directly to Person B who can fix the problem, this is not complaining; it’s the first step of moving toward a solution. By the way, if you get a reputation as a complainer, people may stop listening.

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4. Bring Solutions with Problems

When you are faced with a problem and need help, articulate both the solution and the specific help required. Tell your leaders exactly what you need from them, such as funding, letter of support, escalation support, lifting the freeze on hiring, or approval of a new tool. You are far more likely to obtain their support when you have a solution in hand and they know precisely what is expected from them to help you carry out the solution.

5. Meet Commitments

Do what you say you will when you say you will do it. Manage your commitments well. If, at times, commitments may need to be reset, then work with the required parties as soon as possible so that any collateral damage will be minimal. But do not create a pattern of missed commitments where there appears to be no end in sight. No one can meet every commitment that they have made but they should be able to meet most of their commitments. The commitments that slip should be carefully replanned and rarely should they slip again. The respect you develop across your organization or company will, in large part, be affected by your ability to successfully and maturely manage your commitments.

6. Promote Dialogue

Don’t be a “yes” employee—or more specifically, a silent employee. Don’t just take notes, nod, and leave your boss’ office. Listen thoughtfully, ask good questions, and raise concerns— if any. Your leaders need your response, your ideas and your participation.

7. Keep Your Leaders Informed

Keep your leaders informed of important news. Don’t work in a vacuum. Avoid surprises. However, this doesn’t mean you should tell your boss about every problem that comes your way. In fact, don’t reveal most problems to your boss. If you did, your boss would cringe every time he or she sees it’s you on the phone or at their office door or in an email that just arrived. You are paid to solve problems. Your boss gains no value in knowing all the problems that you face each day and how each was solved. Therefore, be selective and only share those problems that you feel your boss should know about or that you want your boss to know about. And be discreet in how you share bad news with your boss.

The success you achieve with your career has a lot to do with your behaviors in dealing with your leaders. Your career-clock is ticking. Now, become your imagined self!

Achieving The Elusive Work-Life Balance

Written by Neal Whitten,PMP on . Posted in Articles.

I have personally wrestled with my own work-life balance issues for most of my adult life. In my younger adult days, I could easily have been categorized as a workaholic.

I was divorced after a 17-year marriage and did not see the break-up coming. I’m not saying that a better work-life balance would have saved the marriage, but a poor work-life balance sure didn’t help it any. For me, the integration of my work life and my non-work life has been a rough ride at times but—as a senior-aged person—I have learned a massive amount of knowledge and, dare I say, wisdom, about the highly important subject of finding a satisfactory harmony across all aspects of life. My mission here is to present you with some starter ideas that can fit into a relatively short article—ideas that can help you not only better understand your work-life balance but to give you ideas that can help you achieve the integration that is most important to you.

Work-life balance can mean something different to each of us. For purposes of this article, work-life balance is about achieving an acceptable harmony or integration between your work life—or career—and your personal life.

Studies show that a poor work-life balance can result in unhealthy levels of stress and unhappiness. At risk are your personal relationships, your career and your development as a person, to name a few. Moreover, too much time spent working has its own problems. You run the risk of burning out and hating your job, maybe even yourself. You wake up one day and realize you’re not happy with your life. 

What does matter is that you create a personally meaningful life that helps you feel happy and healthy overall. While balancing work and non-work life might not be easy early in one’s career, figuring it out is necessary to lifelong satisfaction. Almost everyone wishes that they had realized the importance of life balance at the beginning of their career. Doing so would have meant less regrets and a more deliberate life. But whatever your age, you can still seize control and drive towards the balance you most desire.

I have created an assessment instrument—called the Questionnaire for Self-Assessing Your Work-Life Balance—to heighten your awareness of the behaviors that are affecting your work-life balance. The questionnaire will also provide a means to rate your collective behaviors and present a score that can give you insight into your effectiveness in achieving work-life balance. You can download the PDF and take the quiz now or later at your convenience.

Let’s examine eight important actions and behaviors that can help you in your quest to achieve the elusive work-life balance. 

1. Create a Vision for What You Would Like Your Life to Look Like 

Ask yourself what you would like your life to look like both from a career perspective and a personal perspective and how you see these two major components integrating. Then define what you envision a typical, desirable day would look like beginning from the time you wake up until you call it a day. That day could have interaction with family members, time for exercising, eating healthy, of course time for work activities, personal chores, special events and some downtime to compose and reenergize yourself. Use this vision as a baseline to ensure that you steadfastly adopt actions and behaviors that move you towards your vision. Then define the priorities in your life that are important to support this vision—including those priorities that are non-negotiable except for emergencies; examples could be special family events, sleep and exercise. The bottom line is that in order to improve upon your work-life balance it is essential that you have a vision of what you would like that integration to look like. If and when you would like to create a vision, I have created a sample vision to give you an idea of what a vision could look like.

2. Set Your Priorities Each Day

At the start of each work day, create a to-do list that includes the identification of your top three priorities to focus on for the day. If you have timeframes available of 30 minutes or more, do not work the bottom items of your to-do list, focus instead on the top three. Your top three items are so important that they define your overall value, contributions and success in your job. Work off your top three priorities every 2-3 days and replace them with your next set of priorities. If your top three priorities may take weeks or months to resolve, then, within 2-3 days, put a detailed, trackable plan in place to deal with the priority. Then remove that top-three priority from your list and routinely track your new plan until it is complete. 

If occasionally you experience a day that is so hectic with fire fights and please handles that you never get around to working on your top three priorities, that’s okay; you work in a complex, demanding environment. However, if you frequently have days where you do not focus on your top three priorities, then you are the problem and need to seek help to effectively manage your workload. 

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If your personal life is as chaotic as your work life, consider creating the to-do list for non-work activities as well.

3. Track Your Time 

For one week, keep track of where and with whom you spend your time during your waking hours both at work and in your personal life. Record in increments as small as 15 minutes.  The objective is to identify time well spent that support your priorities and interests as well as time that—looking over the big picture—was not considered put to good use. This exercise is invaluable as you look for ways to fine tune your behaviors throughout each day. Experience shows that you will likely experience some “ah-ha” moments as you look more objectively into your routine behaviors.

4. Limit Time-Wasting Activities and People 

This action will free you to spend more time on the important activities and people, and will likely provide you with additional time that you did not realize you had. Not only will your productivity benefit, the quality of your work and the satisfaction you get from your work likely will also increase. Many people spend too much time on things that don’t really matter. Time, arguably, is the most valuable commodity in life: It is the one thing you cannot buy more of. Therefore, don’t waste it.

The last tip we had discussed, “track your time,” can help here. Also, as your day unfolds get in the habit of consciously questioning if the time you are about to spend or the time you just spent is, indeed, an effective use of your time. After a while, this can become second nature and you will more effectively choose the areas where you dedicate your time.

5. Learn to Say “No” 

Ensure that your commitments mostly support your priorities. Your inability or unwillingness to say “no” can easily allow you to lose control over your day and those things that matter most to you. If you need to buy some time to think about your final decision of whether or not to say “no,” then do so—even sleeping on it. Use whatever methods will help you better control where you commit your time. If you do not seize control over the commitments you make, your time will be surrendered to others… and you will not like the impact to you. You have far more control over your day and how you spend it than you may realize.

6. Minimize Time in Meetings 

Minimize time in meetings, especially unstructured meetings. Most people spend a large portion of their time in meetings. Obviously some meetings are important for you to attend but many may not be providing you a sufficient return on your invested time. For starters, consider only attending meetings if they satisfy one or both of these conditions:1. Information you need to perform your job will be disclosed, or2. You have information that someone else needs to perform their job.

If you have information that someone else needs, consider turning that information over to the dependent person before the meeting starts and don’t attend the meeting. If you feel you must attend the meeting then do so only for the time necessary to disclose the information—say 5 minutes. Work with the meeting leader to determine the specific time when you should attend.

For meetings that you must attend, consider having a buddy who must also be in the meeting cover for you and afterwards inform you of what you need to know. And you reciprocate by covering for your buddy in a different meeting that you both also must attend.

7. Put Yourself First 

Take care of yourself. Look out for yourself. Putting yourself first goes against what many of us learned growing up. But think about it: By putting yourself first, only then can you be your best and give your best to others. An example is on an airplane and the oxygen masks drop due to a potential emergency. You are directed to place the mask on yourself before helping someone in need next to you. You must make sure that you are in a position of strength before you can be your best for all that which comes your way and all those who may have a dependency on you. 

Another example of putting yourself first is protecting your private time. Don’t be so quick to sacrifice your private time for other work and personal events. Your private time may be essential for catching your breath, recharging your energy and reaching a level of understanding and acceptance with yourself and all that going on around you. If you have serious work-life balance issues, not putting yourself first was likely a major cause of the dilemma you now find yourself embroiled in.

8. At the End of Your Day, Assess How Well Your Day Went 

Pause and sit back to catch your breath. Then identify the actions you took that supported your quest for work-life balance. Give yourself some kudos for taking these actions. Also identify those actions that harmed your work-life balance. Imagine how your day could have been more productive and meaningful had you not engaged in the harmful actions. Ask yourself what you could or should have done differently so that you can change your behavior the next time a similar situation arises. See yourself incrementally growing stronger day to day, week to week.

Closing Thoughts

You get to define what work-life balance means to you. Balance is an individual thing and everyone must find their own. It’s not about what others think; it’s about what you desire for you. You achieve work-life balance by first defining the balance you most desire. Then you examine your current life and decide if that balance is being achieved. If it’s not, then, starting with the ideas presented in this article, you can put a plan in place that will deliberately move you into the desired direction. Then periodically revisit your work-life balance situation and adjust your actions and behaviors where and when needed.

Your work-life balance is something that can easily be put off for another day, another week, another year—but you already know that.  Now is the time to seize the control over your life and to make it the life you most desire. It’s possible that this article could be the catalyst to change the rest of your life.
Now, become your imagined self!